When I went to China, Ryanne stayed here. It was the best decision. This meant that she didn't get milk for 4 days. We went from 2-4 feedings per day + 1-3 feedings at night to none. I got through the bulk of the engorgement alone in my hotel with hot showers and sleeping topless so when I did leak, I wouldn't end up with a soured milk smelling shirt that I had to get back to Japan.
Chrys said she was ok except for first thing in the morning. That seemed to be the feeding she missed most. She's been night weaned before and didn't have problems with it and there are many days where we stay busy enough to not warrant nursing during the day. That response didn't surprise me.
Now, though, we're still trying cold turkey. I refuse every request to nurse, but stay there to soothe her. Right now, this means havoc on my fingers as she's replacing my breast with sucking on those.
I'm in a bunch of pain on my right breast. I'm worried that it will end up as mastitis if I can't clear the blockages. Hot showers are my best friends, but the pain persists.
She's confused. She doesn't understand what I mean when I say the milk's gone. She doesn't get why it's gone. She is regressing and showing signs of insecurity that are really making me doubt the decision.
I felt a lot of outside pressure to wean her for a while now. There are a dozen reasons that it's the right time and that I should do it. However, I feel like I'm ignoring the biggest (and to me, most important) reason not to - my daughter. It's feeling more and more like she's just not ready and that makes anything else feel very wrong.
2 comments:
Dear Daughter, my heart goes out to you. Circumstances dictated weaning you a lot sooner than I would have preferred. No pressure here. Follow your heart. I love you. Mom
You've heard this before, so I'm just throwing out a little pearl of a statement you already know... "If it feels wrong, you're right." You can decide if this applies to you and RC.
Love and hugs,
Mom
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