Who is this child?

Today was the day that made me want to not be a mom anymore.

I am SO tired of her yelling "NO!" at me. I am so tired of her deliberately doing things that I've said hurt. (Accidentally bumps my toe. "Ryanne, please be careful around my toe." Deliberately smacks my toe, repeatedly, with increasing force. WTF?) I am so tired of her telling me she can't do things that she's done for months. I am so tired of her getting frustrated and taking a swing at me. I am so tired of her running away when I say it's time to go. I am tired of using the TV to keep her out of my hair. I am tired of her having too much energy and taking it out on me. I am tired of all the crap I was warned came with her being 3.

I'm hoping a lot of my frustration goes away when I'm not out of commission for one reason or another. First pregnancy, then birth, now my toe. It feels like years since I've really been equipped to handle her and she needs handling. I don't want Chrys to have to fight my battles for me, but I can't run her down and tell her that she has to do something. I can't catch her right now, and the pisser is that she knows it.

I just want to be 100% again. I want my house back in order and I want my daughter to act like a human again. Maybe that's too much to ask of a 3 year old.