She gets it

This coffee thing every morning with daddy...she totally understands.

Today, we had some wheat bread (among other things) for lunch. It was declared "foffee bwead". I eventually got out of her that it looked like the filters - "bwead filtah".

She said we needed to put "foffee in" and "pour wadder" on it.

Signs of a developing addiction, anyone?

How not to wean

When I went to China, Ryanne stayed here. It was the best decision. This meant that she didn't get milk for 4 days. We went from 2-4 feedings per day + 1-3 feedings at night to none. I got through the bulk of the engorgement alone in my hotel with hot showers and sleeping topless so when I did leak, I wouldn't end up with a soured milk smelling shirt that I had to get back to Japan.

Chrys said she was ok except for first thing in the morning. That seemed to be the feeding she missed most. She's been night weaned before and didn't have problems with it and there are many days where we stay busy enough to not warrant nursing during the day. That response didn't surprise me.

Now, though, we're still trying cold turkey. I refuse every request to nurse, but stay there to soothe her. Right now, this means havoc on my fingers as she's replacing my breast with sucking on those.

I'm in a bunch of pain on my right breast. I'm worried that it will end up as mastitis if I can't clear the blockages. Hot showers are my best friends, but the pain persists.

She's confused. She doesn't understand what I mean when I say the milk's gone. She doesn't get why it's gone. She is regressing and showing signs of insecurity that are really making me doubt the decision.

I felt a lot of outside pressure to wean her for a while now. There are a dozen reasons that it's the right time and that I should do it. However, I feel like I'm ignoring the biggest (and to me, most important) reason not to - my daughter. It's feeling more and more like she's just not ready and that makes anything else feel very wrong.

Celebrity

RC has celebrity status here in Japan. It's a bit annoying for us because I'm worried about how she'll deal in the US. Everywhere we go, she's fawned over. She waves at people and they wave back. They LOVE to get her attention and return it. She gets gifts and presents just for being cute. Sometimes she turns on the shy, but mostly she just soaks it up.

When we were stateside in September, she was waving to everyone and few people waved back. It's going to be a harsh reality for her to look like everyone else and no longer have special status for being the blondish, curly headed baby. There are lots of those in America. It won't be unique and she won't be a star. I hope they let her down easy. The two-year old ego is very fragile, I fear.