"How old are you, Ryanne?"

"I don't know, mommy, I'm only 3."

She's used that one a couple of times. Cracks.me.up.

I *hate* this phase

The crankiness I knew to expect...oh.my.GOD. She just spent the 15 minute drive back from Barnes and Noble screeching at the top of her lungs, kicking my seat, throwing her shoes at me, spitting and flailing her arms (just in case I got close to her - yeah, right?) Why was she so upset? We had to leave B&N to go home to have lunch with daddy. You'd think it was the end of the world.

Stuff like this makes me not want to take her anywhere. I want to just sit her in front of the TV and leave her so she'll not have a fit. I know that's not what's best for her, but she turns it into such a trial to go anywhere that I have a hard time mustering the energy to do it.

It's times like these where I can see how parents lose control and (b)eat their young. It's so hard to retain any modicum of sanity when all I want is for her to be quiet. I can do it, but man it's not easy and it wears me out. I need a nap now.

I hear 4's better. *sigh*

2.5 hours is too long

Apparently I shouldn't let her run herself ragged at the park for 2.5 hours when she's already pretty ragged from school.

She did NOT sleep well last night. She kept waking up with nightmares and saying her legs hurt. I slept with her for much of the night. She was restless and all over me.

While I enjoyed the extra cuddles, I'm not happy that she was apparently in that much pain. I'm also not happy about how much sleep she lost as I fear we'll pay the price in crankiness today. We probably won't do that again.

Ryanne's 3 year appointment

She's 37.25" tall and 32.1 pounds. Her blood pressure was 84/44. She's 50th percentile for both height and weight - "perfect" says the doctor.

She had a vision test - 20/25, which is normal for her age. She knew two of the four letters they needed so they gave her a chart to symbol match and she did great with the 'game'.

Her hearing test will be repeated in January. She had fluid, but no infection, in her right ear and it seems to be skewing her hearing results in that ear. She wasn't hearing all of the beeps. Chrys and I think she didn't fully understand the 'game' that time so we'll work with her on that and hope she improves come January.

The doctor recommended the dentist at age 4 and seemed surprised that she'd been going since she got teeth.

She got a Tb test because of our time in Japan. She didn't like that, but did ok with sitting in my lap to get it. We go back on Monday to get it read.

She also got two shots - flu and HepA - and didn't cry. The nurse was very impressed. She flinched a lot at the flu shot (she said it burned), but got over it quickly.

In the car on the way to Whole Foods, she told me that "Shots are bad and are NOT fun." I said they were necessary, but agreed they weren't fun. She was asleep before we got to Whole Foods and slept in the sling the whole way through, back to the car, to the house and inside. She stayed asleep for about 2 hours so she's still awake now. *sigh*

Who is this child?

Today was the day that made me want to not be a mom anymore.

I am SO tired of her yelling "NO!" at me. I am so tired of her deliberately doing things that I've said hurt. (Accidentally bumps my toe. "Ryanne, please be careful around my toe." Deliberately smacks my toe, repeatedly, with increasing force. WTF?) I am so tired of her telling me she can't do things that she's done for months. I am so tired of her getting frustrated and taking a swing at me. I am so tired of her running away when I say it's time to go. I am tired of using the TV to keep her out of my hair. I am tired of her having too much energy and taking it out on me. I am tired of all the crap I was warned came with her being 3.

I'm hoping a lot of my frustration goes away when I'm not out of commission for one reason or another. First pregnancy, then birth, now my toe. It feels like years since I've really been equipped to handle her and she needs handling. I don't want Chrys to have to fight my battles for me, but I can't run her down and tell her that she has to do something. I can't catch her right now, and the pisser is that she knows it.

I just want to be 100% again. I want my house back in order and I want my daughter to act like a human again. Maybe that's too much to ask of a 3 year old.

Use your brain for good

She really is smart, but some of her ideas are plain evil.

Right now, she's stacking her DVDs on top of her (flimsy) red chair. This is an effort to 'get it big to help me get up dere to get the tewebision wemote' which I placed on the speaker on top of the mantle in an effort to keep it away from her. She's got about 2 dozen DVDs stacked up now and keeps going back for more. I really, really hope she doesn't even try to climb on it.

I explained to her that she shouldn't try to get up on it because she would hurt herself. Now she's chanting, "I'm not gonna hurt myself" as she keeps stacking.

Chrys pointed out that this is going to be funny...to explain to the EMTs.

Hypocrite

Me, not her.

Today we were at Whole Foods. She loves getting the special carts there. They're little cars with baskets on the top for the groceries. They're a PITA to steer. I despise them, but it keeps her contained and much happier than a traditional cart so I get them whenever we see one.

When there's one there, she always gets to run ahead to get it as soon as we get out of the parking lot. This is even more important now that I walk a lot slower. We haven't seen one out in a couple of weeks, I think.

Today, she was over halfway across the front of the store when this MUCH older looking girl ducks in and grabs it. Ryanne burst into tears - hysterical tears. Every one is looking at us. The mother type figure with the other girl looks up, realizes what's happened, shrugs, mouths sorry, and takes the cart inside.
I get Ryanne over to the other carts. I get her into the cart. I start walking through the store. I'm telling her how sometimes somebody gets something we want very much and it's very disappointing. Sometimes, no matter how fast we hurry, we can't get there in time. How it's ok to be mad and upset when that happens, but we just have to hope the other person appreciates it and enjoys it. There will be other chances for us to use one and we've probably beaten other people to the carts because she's such a fast runner. Etc...

We go through the whole store like this. She would not calm down. She talked about how much she loved the car cart the whole time. I got 4 things, gave up and checked out. She got a tattoo and truffle at checkout because the cashier felt sorry for her, even, when she told him (helped by my translation) why she was crying. That calmed her down some, but not completely.

I saw the cart in the store. The girl was kicked back with her feet up - she had to be 6 or 7 (possible even since school's out today). She barely fit in the car. I think it was more of a way for her to be lazy and get through the store than a love of driving the car. The mom looked a bit guilty when she saw my still hysterical little girl as she struggled to shove this behemoth of a cart with her too large kid. I must confess seeing her struggle to push it made me feel a bit better.

Nevertheless, the Mama Bear in me is thinking, "bitch, you aren't even enjoying it" while I extol the virtues of sharing and how much she'll enjoy it the next time.

See...Hypocrite.

We are gonna be in SO much trouble

Tonight, Ryanne was sitting on my lap at Aunt Owly's house. She shoved her feet between my legs and Uncle Bwent's. She got stuck. She lost her shoe. She looked him square in the eye.

"Move your damn legs so I can get my damn shoe."

I was certain I was going to pop a vein trying not to laugh. Tears running down my cheeks.

Chrys asked if I was volunteering to go to the first parent-teacher conference. I told him I felt we needed to present a united front.