You know, aside from the obvious things like walking upright, talking, picking things up with her hands...
We got a laser pointer. We have one at home, but we didn't bring it with us. The cats were mightily disappointed as chasing the dot was one of their favorite pastimes. We now have a newer, smaller, brighter one. The cats are happy.
Turns out, RC is happy, too. She likes to crawl around chasing the dot while the cats run willy nilly around her. This was quite amusing, especially when the dot decided to snake up her hands, feet, belly.
One difference - RC quickly figured out that the dot came from mama's hand and then wanted mama's hand. *sigh* So much for mutual entertainment of the babe and the furbabes.
Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Your head a'splode
With the good, comes the bad, I guess. Ryanne is severely into the temper tantrum phase. Her big thing is bashing her head into the floor (or fridge or wall or anything hard, really). She will start screaming and carefully put herself down and then THWAP her head into the floor. It certainly makes the crying more genuine. It gets her good and angry. It's hard to know whether to feel sorry for her being in pain or laugh that she thinks that's an effective way to get what she wants. We don't give in, and she gives up quickly. It's really hard to watch her do it to herself, especially when she slips and really smacks her head. Then, it's all I can do not to cuddle her. I wish there was a way to talk her out of it. We just encourage her to use words to ask for what she wants and if she's angry about being disciplined, we try to ignore her. She certainly doesn't make it easy on us, though.
The "other" side of Peek a boo!
Ryanne truly discovered her privates in the bath tonight. We don't discourage her from exploring, but she's never shown any real interest beyond a quick grope now and then. In her bath tonight she grabbed both outer extremeties and was tweaking them all over the place. What got me, though... At one point, she pulled them closed and then opened them WIDE up and yelled "peet ahhh (peek a boo)". I just about hit the floor I was laughing so hard. I had to leave the bathroom so I didn't risk embarrassing her. I'm still just cracking up thinking about it.
She's also learned to fake cry. Two days ago, she put her hands to her eyes and started going "wahhhh". I asked her what was up and she said "shhhh...daibobu" like she does when she's trying to calm another baby. I asked her if she was pretending to cry and she did it again. She'll now do it on demand. It's cute.
She's also learned to fake cry. Two days ago, she put her hands to her eyes and started going "wahhhh". I asked her what was up and she said "shhhh...daibobu" like she does when she's trying to calm another baby. I asked her if she was pretending to cry and she did it again. She'll now do it on demand. It's cute.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
The baby bond
I was reading about how some women feel that the instantaneous bond with one's baby is something of a myth. It made me start to reflect on my bond with RC and I came to some rather surprising realizations. The biggest one was that I did not fall completely into the category of the women that just sit and enjoy their babies. The Hallmark moments of a mom just sitting there enjoying the child. I interacted with her when I was awake, but when she slept, it was rare for me to just sit and enjoy her. Most of the time, that was my chance to escape for a little bit.
Don't get me wrong, I felt that first intense rush of "wow, that's my baby. I made that and I love her." After the first night, where she was awake and cluster feeding every 30 minutes or so, that wore off some. I handed her off to Chrys and asked him to just keep her quiet so I could sleep. Of course, I'd been awake since 2am the morning before and gone through labor so I was beyond exhaustion. I think my bond with her was greatly tied to my exhaustion level and breastfeeding successes. When my breasts were raw and cracked and I cringed when she latched on, it was hard to sit and look at her and enjoy her. That started calming down around 5-6weeks and then I started to really have a day to day bond with her instead of just the strictly maternal instinct.
However, I lost my dad when she was just 2.5 months and I remember not thinking too much about her during that time, except that I had to get up to take care of her and it was a hassle. Then, I didn't really deal with her on a day-to-day basis. Chrys took care of her much of the day while I sorted papers and talked to lawyers, etc. Looking back, it wasn't fair to me or to her. I abused what I had with Chrys being 'home' because I couldn't deal with her. He was better at soothing, better at getting her to sleep, better at stimulating. In my mind, I was a milk wagon so that's what I became.
When I left my dad's estate behind and we returned to Austin, I was able to get back to her and start bond with her all over again - it's sad that she was almost 9 months old by that time. At the same time, I was still somewhat detached because I didn't know her. I was very frustrated and we spent a lot of time out where I could easily stimulate her because I just didn't know how to deal at home. I still didn't completely enjoy her presence.
I think all of the stress I was under, in addition to being in that time where I was really just getting to know her contributed greatly to my feelings of desperation when we got to Japan. I had been caring for this little girl, but still hadn't clicked with her. I started to wonder what I was doing as a stay-at-home-mom. I felt this overwhelming need to go back to work. I couldn't deal with her. I didn't know how to keep her busy or happy or out of things. She was my responsibility and I loved her, but I still wasn't in love with her.
Since hindsight is 20/20, I realize now that the click was when I was overwhelmed. I think that was the instant that I really bonded with my baby. When I completely fell in love and wanted to spend every moment with her. Part of me feels sad that it took 15 months. Part of me knows that she got everything she needed from me as a caregiver and maternal figure. She is very loving; she still wants to be around me; I didn't push her away; I just didn't enjoy her as much as the books say I should have been able to.
On the other hand, I don't think I've missed out. I think I came to be in love in my own time. I love the little person she's become and I love spending time with her and interacting with her. This time, this person - it's a million times more rewarding than the baby time to me. She knows what she's asking for and doing and I'm still high on the list. That makes my heart swell even more than those first few baby smiles that everyone tries to tell you aren't real anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I felt that first intense rush of "wow, that's my baby. I made that and I love her." After the first night, where she was awake and cluster feeding every 30 minutes or so, that wore off some. I handed her off to Chrys and asked him to just keep her quiet so I could sleep. Of course, I'd been awake since 2am the morning before and gone through labor so I was beyond exhaustion. I think my bond with her was greatly tied to my exhaustion level and breastfeeding successes. When my breasts were raw and cracked and I cringed when she latched on, it was hard to sit and look at her and enjoy her. That started calming down around 5-6weeks and then I started to really have a day to day bond with her instead of just the strictly maternal instinct.
However, I lost my dad when she was just 2.5 months and I remember not thinking too much about her during that time, except that I had to get up to take care of her and it was a hassle. Then, I didn't really deal with her on a day-to-day basis. Chrys took care of her much of the day while I sorted papers and talked to lawyers, etc. Looking back, it wasn't fair to me or to her. I abused what I had with Chrys being 'home' because I couldn't deal with her. He was better at soothing, better at getting her to sleep, better at stimulating. In my mind, I was a milk wagon so that's what I became.
When I left my dad's estate behind and we returned to Austin, I was able to get back to her and start bond with her all over again - it's sad that she was almost 9 months old by that time. At the same time, I was still somewhat detached because I didn't know her. I was very frustrated and we spent a lot of time out where I could easily stimulate her because I just didn't know how to deal at home. I still didn't completely enjoy her presence.
I think all of the stress I was under, in addition to being in that time where I was really just getting to know her contributed greatly to my feelings of desperation when we got to Japan. I had been caring for this little girl, but still hadn't clicked with her. I started to wonder what I was doing as a stay-at-home-mom. I felt this overwhelming need to go back to work. I couldn't deal with her. I didn't know how to keep her busy or happy or out of things. She was my responsibility and I loved her, but I still wasn't in love with her.
Since hindsight is 20/20, I realize now that the click was when I was overwhelmed. I think that was the instant that I really bonded with my baby. When I completely fell in love and wanted to spend every moment with her. Part of me feels sad that it took 15 months. Part of me knows that she got everything she needed from me as a caregiver and maternal figure. She is very loving; she still wants to be around me; I didn't push her away; I just didn't enjoy her as much as the books say I should have been able to.
On the other hand, I don't think I've missed out. I think I came to be in love in my own time. I love the little person she's become and I love spending time with her and interacting with her. This time, this person - it's a million times more rewarding than the baby time to me. She knows what she's asking for and doing and I'm still high on the list. That makes my heart swell even more than those first few baby smiles that everyone tries to tell you aren't real anyway.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Story time
Ryanne told her first recognizable story in the car this weekend. We went to Marine World in Fukuoka on Sunday. She loved it, especially the dolphins. She saw them in a tank and in a show. She was mesmerized and just belly-laughed at the stunts and antics.
She fell asleep as we were leaving so I was able to pick up a little stuffed dolphin in the store without her knowledge. I gave it to her in the car on the way home. Then we talked about seeing the dolphins.
Well...she had a LOT to say about those dolphins and she wanted to act it out with her new toy to boot. This little dolphin was jumping all over the back seat and touching his nose to the "ba(ll)" and flipping and waving his tail and everything. It was absolutely adorable seeing her talk so excitedly about what the dolphins had done. She'll still do it at home, but she's not near as excited about it anymore.
Other than that, she did pretty well on the trip. Bedtime and naptime were both nightmares since she was sleeping in her own big bed in the same room as us. Makes me really want to consider a suite and requesting a crib, but I have a feeling that would blow up on us, too. It also told us that she is in no way ready for her own big girl bed. We tried leaving her in it and she would climb down and run around the hotel, even with it dark and quiet. Given all of that, she took about 2 hours to calm down for anything, but slept ok after that. The last night was the worst - she woke around midnight and probably every hour after. The good news is that there don't seem to be any long term effects from the changes. She's right back into her routine here. Let's hear it for a good traveller.
She fell asleep as we were leaving so I was able to pick up a little stuffed dolphin in the store without her knowledge. I gave it to her in the car on the way home. Then we talked about seeing the dolphins.
Well...she had a LOT to say about those dolphins and she wanted to act it out with her new toy to boot. This little dolphin was jumping all over the back seat and touching his nose to the "ba(ll)" and flipping and waving his tail and everything. It was absolutely adorable seeing her talk so excitedly about what the dolphins had done. She'll still do it at home, but she's not near as excited about it anymore.
Other than that, she did pretty well on the trip. Bedtime and naptime were both nightmares since she was sleeping in her own big bed in the same room as us. Makes me really want to consider a suite and requesting a crib, but I have a feeling that would blow up on us, too. It also told us that she is in no way ready for her own big girl bed. We tried leaving her in it and she would climb down and run around the hotel, even with it dark and quiet. Given all of that, she took about 2 hours to calm down for anything, but slept ok after that. The last night was the worst - she woke around midnight and probably every hour after. The good news is that there don't seem to be any long term effects from the changes. She's right back into her routine here. Let's hear it for a good traveller.
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